Each believer seeks with an open heart. Each church welcomes with an open tithes and offering basket. Our church is no different. We are here to help you find your way to the afterlife of your choice.
We aren't going to do what the other churches do. We don't automatically assume that your religion is wrong, nor evil, and we aren't going to tell you that you are are going to burn for an eternity in hell just because you haven't given us your money. We do offer some nice Eternity Soul packages tho, check out our online store.
Our pastors don't do what the other pastors do. We aren't going to condemn you to an eternity of pain and damnation. We aren't going to promise you pain and destruction because we don't like who you sleep with, or how you sleep with them, or because we might be in the closet about who we want to sleep with and how we want to sleep with them.
Unlike other churches where they fleece the parishioners, then hire some prostitutes, buy a couple jets, some new cars and clothes, and set themselves up in a few new houses... we aren't going to hire any prostitutes. It's still not legal in the states... Everything else mentioned above is. We'll stick with those ideas.
Have you ever asked your pastor what Thor's hammer Mjolnir is made out of? What weapon valkyrie prefer to carry to battle? What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow? You were probably met with a lost look on their face weren't you. That isn't what our priests offer. We offer answers. The best answers.
It's hard to believe one church can do this much, but we can. And we do.
95%
SOULS SAVED
100%
DEITIES WORSHIPPED
0
SACRED TEXTS AVAILABLE
How do you join our church?
It's really, really easy.
Do you know what tithing is?
Provide a small percentage of your monthly wages to us and we will make you a member, just like every other church does. It's quick, easy and painless. And think of eternity... We'll make sure you get the nice seat next to the ice machine.
No blood or organs until it's legal to harvest pre-death
You can also donate material possessions like cars and houses
The answer to the mysteries of life, and death, sit right before you. We will unravel them as quickly as we are able.
Every dollar you send helps us get our message out to the masses. It allows us to provide this beautiful power of the gods and goddesses to all who desire it.
Donate as much as you can so we can help as many as we can. You know 'they' want you to. We promise.
